It's Insomnia Apparently

I was told today that I suffer from insomnia. This is why I have be so tired lately. This made me pause to think for a minute. Not "do I suffer from insomnia" but rather has this person had a, listened to a word I had said and b, if this person had any concept of what insomnia actually is.

They don't seem to know what insomnia is so I looked it up. Rather than going straight into rant mode I checked my facts first. According to the NHS if you have insomnia, you may:

• find it difficult to fall asleep
• lie awake for long periods at night
• wake up several times during the night
• wake up early in the morning and not be able to get back to sleep
• not feel refreshed when you get up
• find it hard to nap during the day, despite feeling tired
• feel tired and irritable during the day and have difficulty concentrating

So back tracking through the symptoms, "I don't feel refreshed when I get up" and "I feel tired and irritable during the day". This qualifies as insomnia apparently. The fact that I have been sleeping on a sofa to give my mum somewhere to sleep since September and people seem to want to wake me up when I do fall asleep (this happened six times yesterday not to mention the dog, the cat and two phone calls). 

Apparently I definitely suffer from insomnia because I couldn't fall asleep when I tried to get a mid morning nap today. Apparently, the fact that there was a house alarm going on a dustcart going around the estate where I live and people shooting rabbits with a shotgun was not relevant.

I am pretty sure that I don't suffer from insomnia. I am also pretty sure that being irritable during the day is not a side effect of the insomnia. Sadly it's a personality trait apparently.

For various reasons I have been beating myself up lately for not getting stuff done. Focus is a hard thing to maintain when you can't keep your eyes open. I keep blaming tiredness. This is probably fair enough. This is not proving to be the best years of my life. There is too much going on and at the moment I need a bit of a break. Every time I think that there is a chance of something good happening, the situation conspires against me. The phrase I have used a number of times lately is that I feel like a second class citizen in what should be my first class life.

Tomorrow I should have a day off. I know this isn't going to happen but I can hope. So, with a bit of luck and assuming the weather is so bad that we can't go out, I might get some time to do.